to have and to hold
by the lady of shallot1
Summary: this is my first fic, please be nice, not really a summary.. rating for later
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own anything that has anything to do with Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything else from J.K Rowlings beautiful imagination. Beth however is mine.  
  
This is my first fic, I will probably be a able to update maybe once or twice a week as I'm in my final year in high school and it's getting pretty close to exams! Please review, I eagerly anticipate any kind of criticism, but please be kind to my fragile little soul. Well my lovelies, he I go, baring my imagination to the literature mongers of the world, sit back and enjoy. (  
  
************** "You're late." Was all he said as he looked back down at his potion and turned the fire under his cauldron down. "Yeah." I stammered. "Mr. Filch almost caught me on my way over here." I broke off, realising that I was rambling. "So. Um Professor. I got your note -" "Obviously." He cut off, turning his potion completely off. ". And" I said as if it didn't bother me, which of course it did, I was nervous enough as it was. "I was wondering if you could tell me what you needed to see me so urgently for. Sir!" I quickly remembered before I got in trouble for being disrespectful. The whole time I was talking he was busy with his potion. He poured the mixture into the waiting phials and put the heavy cauldron into the deep stone sink and ran water into it, letting it spill over the brim.  
  
I stood there, uncomfortable with the silence and felt my temper rising. "Professor! I do have homework to do, without meaning to be disrespectful sir, but if you'd like to re - schedule this meeting until a time when you're not so busy -" "Temper, temper." I gaped at him. "Would you like to sit down?" He asked me, without looking up from his potion phials. In shock I took some shaky steps towards the nearest desk and perched on the edge and pursed my lips together to smooth them. I watched him step around the side of his desk and felt my insides clench at the sight of him in black flowing strides. He looked so casual, much different to my own current state of dress - I had been too busy to get changed out of my uniform and my hair was dishevelled due to the wind outside. He stepped silently towards me and didn't stop until he was right in front of me. I felt myself shift unconsciously until I was sitting properly on the table and closed my legs, sitting the lightly on the bar below the desk. I folded my hands neatly in my lap (which, unbeknownst to my Potions Master was to keep them from shaking) and looked up into the ghostly pale face of Professor Snape quizzically. He looked down at me, his face blank, portraying no emotion. He was so close I could feel his legs lightly in front of mine. To my utter embarrassment I felt my cheeks flush at the thought of him being so close.  
  
"Miss Alistor. you're blushing." he whispered silkily. "Um. No I'm just a bit warm." "Really? I thought it was quite cool." "Well it is, but I've been rushing around. I only just finished class not long ago, then there was an emergency meeting with the prefects that I had to sit in on 'coz Harry's at Quidditch practise and as you know, the prefects have to be supervised by either the head boy or girl. oh gosh I'm rambling again. sorry." I sighed, lowering my head as I felt the flush deepen. I tried to avoid letting my eyes travel over the very prominent bulge in his lose pants and my eyes travelled down to study my T - Bars.  
  
His eyes gazed down into mine and I felt my heart rate quicken as he lifted one of his hands and softly stroked my cheek. I was confused. I had had feelings for my Potions Master for two years now, but I never thought I would be in this situation. Did he have feelings for me too, or was this just some cruel joke? I felt myself automatically bite my lip, I knew I did it when I was confused or nervous, it was just a habit that I had picked up over the years. I saw a small smile appear on his lips and I gasped as I felt his thumb brush across my now open mouth. His small smile spread a little more as he leaned down and gently brushed his lips across mine. I leaned forward, eager for the feel of his lips against mine again. His lips smiled against mine as he slid an arm around my waist, sliding me closer to him, placing himself between my legs, making me very aware of his hard body pressed against mine.  
  
I felt like my heart was about to explode. My once steady breathing became short sharp gasps as his other arm slipped around me, pulling me, if possible, closer into his intense embrace. He suckled gently on my bottom lip and I tentatively slipped my arms around his neck, I couldn't resist the urge to run my fingers through his ebony locks. I felt me skin tingle with a crackle of electricity as he moaned in response to my gentle touch. His powerful tongue brushed against my half-swollen lips and enter my eager mouth. His tongue found mine after what seemed a tortuously long time, melting as he explored the inner most depths of my mouth. I let him take dominance of my tongue, submitting instantly to the intense sensations that were travelling up and down my spine. We stayed like that, tightly together and tongues intertwined, with me shivering slightly at the unmistakable heat throbbing below his navel.  
  
We broke apart eventually to catch our breath and I couldn't help feeling relieved and disappointed at the separation. Relieved because I was able to breathe again, but disappointed because I already missed the mysterious taste that was his kiss. I couldn't stop the traitorous moan that escaped my lips when he didn't lean back down to continue our kiss.  
  
"Eager, aren't we?" he teased. I looked up at him with a flushed face and a racing heart. "You can't talk." I whispered, thinking about the bulge that I could still feel pressed against me. "No I can't." he whispered back, slowly lowering his head again. He let his face travel down mine and our noses placed feather light kisses against the other. I eagerly anticipated his kiss against my neglected lips again, but it didn't come. My breath caught somewhere in my throat as he kissed his way along my jaw line and then down my flushed neck. His hot, rapid breaths sent more shivers zooming along my central nervous system as he kissed the tingling skin over my jugular. I closed my eyes in ecstasy as he began to suckle on the spot where his kisses had previously been. He kissed around my bra strap, making my suddenly aware that he had somehow undone the top button of my shirt and had nuzzled past the collar of my jumper. His hands were around my waist, underneath my half -open school robe. He gently moved his hands around to my abdomen and started to unbutton my robe. I was wearing my complete school uniform underneath, but alarm bells still started to ring inside my head as a result of his adventurous hands. I had to stop it, I couldn't do this. My Potions Master still hadn't realised anything was wrong and was reaching for the last couple of buttons on my robe, his mouth never leaving its spot on my throat. I started to panic and I knew I couldn't let this go any further. My arms slipped from around his neck to sit flat on his chest. He moaned softly, deep into my throat as I pushed him away gently. His face, full of concern my frightened one and he took a small step backwards.  
  
"Beth. Oh Beth. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to -" "No, please Severus. I want this. I really do, just not this. Oh I don't know what I mean. I've never. well you know." Yes I know. Please forgive me. I just couldn't help it. No! Damn it. That's not an excuse. Beth I'm sorry."  
  
I looked carefully into his eyes. I was not frightened. My fingers reached up and caressed his soft cheek. "Severus, I really do want this, I'm just not ready yet. Please don't feel guilty, everything I just did happened because I wanted it to. But I do have to go now." Leaned over and placed a soft chaste kiss on his beautiful lips and slid off the desk, making my way over to the door and turned. "Good night Severus. Sleep well." I smiled at him to let him know I wasn't upset. He saw my smile and raised his hand. I left the room as quietly as I had entered, closing the door behind me, not hearing his soft farewell, "Good night, my love."  
  
I'll update soon, I promise, but please r & r Love n stuff. 


	2. chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the original Harry Potter characters, if I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction and I wouldn't have killed Sirius, since we love him so much ( hint hint Mrs. Rowling! ) ok to all my loyal readers ( the three of you that have given me reviews ) thank you so much, and I hope u like my next chapter. For anyone else that is reading and not reviewing, please review, I try to review for all of the fics that I read and I know how anxious people feel about sending their brain children into cyberspace.  
  
Once again thankyou to : Silver - thanx for the fantastic compliments, hope u like this update  
: BrilliantCrescentStar - hehehe thanks 'Liss, yeah I don't  
think all of my chapters will be like that, but I do  
intend to have some more action in the not to distant  
future.  
: Lollypops -u rock! Thanx for the excellent review, I'm  
glad u like it. I hope u like the second chapter too. NO  
TIM DOES NOT LOVE  
ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and u love Rohan!  
  
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE. Look I'm on my knees begging! Ok without further ado, sit back and prepare urself for the next emotion filled chapter of this fic, which in my opinion is still untitled, but fanfic.net needed a title.  
  
Chapter 2  
  
My legs gave way as I closed the door, I had managed to appear cool and undisturbed around him, but as soon as I was sure he could not see me, my legs gave way. My once silent breath now rasped out of my throat, so loud it had it's own echo in the silent stone dungeon corridors. That was intense! It was just too much to take in, he had wanted me, I had wanted him, but he was a professor. MY professor! Students just don't go around kissing their professors, or anyone else for that matter. What would happen if anyone found out? He would lose his job, I would be expelled, not to mention that neither one of us would be able to show our face in public again! No. I have to find someone else. What would my parents think if they found out that I had just had the most earth shattering kiss of my life with my potions professor, I think it would probably break them.  
  
With that thought I picked my resolve and myself up off the floor and made my way carefully back to the Gryffindor Common room. My sweet, kind parents on my mind as I stepped through the portrait hole. It was still early, dinner would probably be in about be in about half an hour, so I wasn't surprised to find the common room full and very loud. It was Friday, meaning the only homework that would be done that night was by Hermione in the library. I was surprised however to find a tall, muscular and rather sweaty dark haired young man, clad in beige coloured Quidditch pants and a deep maroon sweatshirt blocking my entrance. He turned around, his emerald eyes shinning brightly from behind his glasses. My best friend's beautiful mouth spread into a wide smile as he scooped me up into his arms.  
  
"Hello my little Beth. How are you on this lovely day?" "Fine thanx Harry. Ah! Put me down! What's put you in such a good mood?" "Ah fair lady, 'tis Friday, I've got no homework all weekend and a fantastic Quidditch game against Slytherin tomorrow, and now I have the pleasure of your company. Oh how wonderful life is right now." I smiled at my friend, it was nice to see him so happy, he rarely had a reason to smile these days. I glanced around the crowded common room, "Where's Ron and Hermione?" "Probably making out in the library or something." He smiled mischievously, "You know them, they played coy for five years and now they can't keep their hands off each other!" "Harry!" I laughed at him. Over the four years that I had known my three best friends I had come to know them as well as I knew myself and I know Harry was right about where they would be, and probably about what they were doing.  
  
I had been very shy when I had first come to Hogwarts school of Witch Craft and Wizardry during our fourth year {AN: I know she wasn't in the fourth or fifth book, but this is my story and if you don't like it you can shove it up your ass! :) only joking! } And we all became immediate friends. Hermione and I were in all the same classes and we hit it off right away because we discovered that we were both studying at the same advanced level in class and then she introduced me to Ron and Harry. We spent a lot of time at each others house over the Summer holidays and it felt like we had been friends forever. My parents got along very well with Ron and Hermione's folks, but their friendship got even better when daddy took up his new position as head of St. Mungo's and when mummy took her new position as head of the Daily Prophet and fired that awful Rita Skeeter. It was really lucky that mummy and daddy were both able to transfer from their old head positions in Australia and pick up the same position here in England. Daddy and Mr. Weasly work closely together and mummy and Mrs. Weasly have become best friends. Daddy's medical experience caught the attention of Hermione's parents, giving them a rough topic to use in conversation to begin with, buteven more when they discovered he was trained as a muggle doctor as well as a medi - wizard.  
  
"Come on Beth!" Harry interrupted my thoughts, "Let's go down to dinner early and play exploding snap while we wait." I smiled at him and took his offered hand, "Won't you ever grow up Harry Potter? You're almost 18 and all you want to do is play exploding snap!" I teased as we sat down at Gryffindor table. "Well." Harry purred, leaning forward with an evil glint in his eye. "I can think of something better." he whispered huskily as he brushed his lips across my ear lobe.  
  
"Oh stop being silly!" I laughed, pushing my friend away. He placed a light kiss on my lips and laughed while he dealt the cards. I had my back to the teachers' table, but I still felt the eerie prickly sensation that someone was watching me. I turned and felt my heart stop beating as I saw Professor Snape sitting next to Dumbledore, his eyes locked Harry and his usual blank, unreadable expression was replaced with one that was filled with rage and hate, his eyes were sending daggers at him. He must have sensed me looking at him because I saw him tear his eyes away from Harry and meet my gaze. His expression changed from hate to hurt. I felt my own heart ache for him at the sadness on his face. I opened my mouth to say something to him, to assure him that there was nothing going on between Harry and me, forgetting that we were not alone, but in the hall that was quickly filling up with students. He narrowed his eyes at me and stood up abruptly, bending down to say something to professor Dumbledore. I watched as the Headmaster said something to him with a concerned look on his face. Severus replied and Dumbledore nodded. Then, without so much as another glance in my direction he turned with a swish of his black cloak and was out of the hall through the teachers' side door.  
  
It took all of my will to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over as my gaze fell on the closed door at the side of the room. Luckily just as I was about to break down and cry Harry nudged me on the shoulder and pointed towards the entrance of the great hall. I turned and put on a smile to watch my other best friends walk into the hall, holding hands. I waved to them, at the same time resolving to be cheerful for their sake, whilst inside my heart was breaking, much to my confusion.  
  
Well there it is, the second chapter. I hope you like it, I don't know about it. Sorry that it took so long to post, but school has kept me pretty busy. Sorry that is if I have any readers! PPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEE EEEEEEE read and review, it really means a lot. Ok I don't know when I will write the next chapter, hopefully sometime this week, depending on how things are going. Luv n stuff.  
  
PS. I deliberately made Beth very naive when it comes to the attention of others, and that of her own feelings 'coz it makes way for more story. So please don't hate me for making her ignorant! :) 


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